Friday, April 07, 2006

Thomas Yoshiro Blosser (November 3, 1951 - March 23, 2006)

Tom, my brother, had died of a heart attack last night, my father said. The finality was jolting when my father called with the news on Friday, March 24th. The next morning, my wife and daughter and I packed up and headed down to Birmingham, where Tom had been living the last twenty years. We were not quite sure what to expect, since Tom had virtually dropped off the face of the earth after the death of his wife in 1987. He had called once or twice, but he left no forwarding address, and no telephone number where he could be reached. We didn't even know he was living in Birmingham. Apparently, he never quite regained his footing after Wendy died.

The obituary in The Birmingham News gave only the following spare details for Thomas Yoshiro Blosser the following Monday morning:
BLOSSER, THOMAS YOSHIRO, Accomplished local musician, Thomas Yoshiro Blosser, died suddenly of natural causes on Thursday, March 23, 2006. Born November 3, 1951, in Muroran, Japan, he became a naturalized US Citizen, was married to the late Wendy Holcombe, and is survived by his adoptive father, Eugene, and siblings, Philip, Rachel and Meiko. Memorial Services will be held on Monday at 2:00 p.m. at Charter Funeral Home, 621-0800. Published in The Birmingham News on 3/27/2006.
These few sentences, of course, do not begin to fathom the story of Tom's life; nor can I, for that matter, in the brief compass of this post. But the story begins long ago in Japan.

Tom's original family name was Sudo, and his given name was Yoshiro. He was born in the city of Muroran, in the coal mining region of Hokkaido, the northern-most island of Japan. Not much is known to us about his father, except that he does not seem to have been in the picture for long. Tom had a sister and an older brother, who were all given to be raised by their grandmother. At age six, Tom was given up for adoption to our family. My father recalls going to the train station in Muroran where he and my mother met Tom, then still known as Yoshiro, and his grandmother:
Then the next morning we went to the station and they were there to meet us with Yoshiro all clean and dressed nicely.

Yoshiro's grandmother came also and said that if we didn't mind she would like to ride with us for about and hour on the train to the next big town which was about an hour from Muroran. So she accompanied us that far. We were able to visit with her and learn more about Yoshiro. When we arrived at the next large town and the train stopped the grandmother got up and bowed to Yoshiro and us said goodbye with a few words to Yoshiro and then turned and walked out of the train and didn't look back.
I had a younger sister, Rachel, but no brother, and had told my parents that I wanted a brother "the size of me" to play with. So when the possibility of adopting Tom presented itself, I was delighted. He was six and I was seven. I thought it a good match. The picture (right) shows us about ten minutes after Tom arrived at our home wearing his elementary school uniform (which served as "formal attire"), and we sat down to a table game. There was not a moment's hesitation: he jumped right in with both feet, and we were jabbering away in Japanese like old friends in no time. In another year or so, another sister was born into our family, who eventually acquired the Japanese name, Meiko.

That was in Taiki, a remote part of the Tokachi region of Hokkaido, south of Obihiro. We attended Japanese public school, and my mother home schooled us in English in the afternoons, using the Calvert School correspondence course materials from Baltimore.

On our first trip to the United States together -- I think Tom was eight and I was nine -- I remember all of us kids had trouble eating the rich American desserts. In fact, I remember about the only thing that Tom could eat, likely because it reminded him of Japanese Ramen noodles (which didn't exist at that time in the U.S.), was Campbell chicken noodle soup. On several occasions, my father would be invited to give an account of his mission work in Japan at one of his supporting churches in the U.S., and I can remember covered dish dinners following his presentation, with tables covered with food nearly as far as the eye could see -- fried chicken, spiral hams, mashed potatoes, scalloped potatoes, chicken & dumplings, tuna casserole, green bean casserole, three bean salad, corn on the cob, cole slaw, buttered corn, deviled eggs, lasagna, spaghetti, chili, corn bread, apple pie, pecan pie, cherry pie, blue berry pie, German chocolate cake, Devil's food cake, spice cake, pineapple upside-down cake, angel food cake, ice cream ... And I can remember Tom looking over this vast expanse and tugging at my mother's sleeve and plaintively asking, "But, mommy, what is there to eat?" (I.e., no chicken noodle soup!)

It was during this furlough in the United States that Tom became a naturalized United States citizen. I remember it was at a court house in Hammond, Indiana. I think Tom's name may have been officially been changed earlier through the U.S. Embassy in Japan when he was adopted -- from "Yoshiro Sudo" to "Thomas Yoshiro Blosser." But now he was an American. Ironically, in some ways he would become much more American than I would, almost entirely forgetting his Japanese language -- so that I once had to serve as interpreter for him when we were back in Japan together. He also eventually embraced an identity as an American southerner, with the whole Nashville music scene he became involved in, which was almost entirely foreign to me. But this did not happen overnight.

Eventually, my parents moved us to Sapporo, the largest city in Hokkaido, where they joined together with the international community in forming the Hokkaido International School (first founded as the "American School" in 1958), of which my father, in addition to his missionary work, became the treasurer. Since the school did not then have boarding facilities for its many missionary children, my parents established a hostel where many missionary children boarded during a period of years from 1964-1969. Hence, Tom spent his teen years surrounded by a gaggle of other teenage boys and girls from all over Hokkaido. Those that we knew best included Steve, Gloria, Barbara, and Ken Shenk, Dawn and Rosemary Buckwalter, Dan and Ruth Kanagy, Don, Wayne, and Ken Lammers (some of whom are pictured with Tom, left). But there were others.

After finishing middle school in Hokkaido, Tom and I attended an English-language high school in Tokyo, the Christian Academy in Japan, where we once scandalized the parents and administrators in an audience at a talent show by singing Simon and Garfunkel's "Mrs. Robinson" for an encore. While in Tokyo, we also had the opportunity to briefly meet Darvin Yoder, our American cousin (pictured right, sharing a bowl of Ramen noodles with Tom), on his way to Laos, where he served his church in the religious equivalent of the Peace Corps during the Vietnam War. Tom briefly attended Hesston College, a two-year college in Hesston, Kansas. Soon thereafter, however, Tom, who was an accomplished guitarist and whose heart was always in music, began going on the road with various musical performance groups. And I mean various. He may have started out with bands cobbled together by college students. But he was eventually playing with the most disparate sorts of groups imaginable. He played in southern blue grass bands. He played in western honky tonk bands. He played in a rough band briefly in Hobbes, New Mexico. He once told me about a period of time he spent playing with an all-black band on the South side of Chicago, in which he was the token white boy. He said they took better care of him than anyone ever before or since, having him chauffeured around in their limousines and treating him like a royal soul brother. He said they all wore matching white suits, that there were a lot of saxophones in the band, which bumped and swayed in choreographed perfection with the rhythm and blues music. Although Tom's first love was acoustic guitar, he played base electric in a lot of these bands.

But where Tom hit the big time was when he began playing back up for Wendy Lou Holcomb (1963-1987), the teen age musician and fledgling bluegrass music star. Wendy had been promoted by her parents and entered into TV variety shows like "Nashville on the Road" since she was twelve years old in 1975. I think it may have been during her appearances in "Hee Haw" in 1980, that Tom first met her, when she was still just seventeen. Tom was already playing back up for entertainers like Louise Mandrell, one of the well-known Mandrell sisters. But just as opportunities for Wendy in television and the entertainment industry began to multiply, Tom and Wendy married, and he joined her as a permanent partner playing back up electric bass in her musical ventures. They made a tour of Israel in 1983 with Bill Monroe and Mac Wiseman. Around that time, perhaps a bit earlier, they also made a world tour -- mostly of Asia, Australia and New Zealand, etc. -- with Perry Como as a blue-grass opening performance preceding Como's show. They were on a first name basis with stars like Doc Watson, and many others I cannot remember from the Nashville scene. Tom told me that he was once invited to fly across the country with Chet Atkins in his private jet with a small group of friends. Chet Atkins had long been an idol of Tom's because of his skill with the guitar.

The other thing I recall from this time is the drug scene. Tom once told me that it would shock the ordinary television viewing public to realize how many of their blue grass and country music stars were deep over their heads into drugs. Not just pot, but cocaine, and even more exotic stuff. Tom said that he succumbed himself to cocaine for a period of time. It was all around them. Thankfully, he later broke free of that vice.

Sometime in the mid-1980s, Tom and Wendy moved from Florida to Hickory, North Carolina, to be near family. Tom came first, and stayed with us for a period of time, until he got a job. Then Wendy came, they rented an apartment, and set up a home for themselves here for a time. This was a relatively happy period in their lives. The oldest of our sons, Christopher and Jonathan, have vivid memories of Tom and Wendy from this period. Christopher writes:
I recall the memories I have of Aunt Wendy -- I remember the first time we met them both in Knoxville in 1985 -- they treated us nephews (well, Jon and I) to pizza at Chucky Cheese and a Walt Disney movie (The Black Cauldron). Later on they came to Hickory, NC, where they stayed for a brief spell -- Jon and I kept Aunt Wendy company while Uncle Tom was at work. (I remember it rather vividly because she treated us to Burger King and rented the video 'Gremlins,' and we had to stop it halfway through and watch GIJoe instead, because we were actually scared).

Funny the little things you remember.

I also remember when Aunt Wendy played banjo for our family and how impressed we were by her banjo picking. I remember she played "Foggy Mountain Breakdown" the theme to 'Bonnie & Clyde', although I was too young to recall the other songs, but we were so proud to have a real live country star as an aunt.
Jonathan writes:
Great memories. I remembered some things about Tom and Wendy ... like when they invited us over to the house for dinner one night. Wendy had that new and expensive little yip dog and you made a house for it out of a box.

Wendy then made us some HUGE ribeye steaks, though we didn't even know what they were or how to eat them as we'd only had liver, bologna or fish sticks in the category of 'meat' at our house. I remember "ruining" the steak by smothering it in ketchup, but I usually do that with most of my food. They also had UNLIMITED cokes in the bottle which Wendy would get cold for us by keeping in the freezer for a little bit. I was in heaven.

I also remember Tom singing the BATMAN theme song on his guitar, but he wouldn't let us play any of the tapes he had recorded of himself....

Pop, sorry about losing a brother.
From her childhood, apparently, Wendy was diagnosed with a heart condition. Already in Hickory, Wendy showed symptoms of advancing cardiomyopathy. At least twice, an ambulance was called to rush her to the local hospital, and upon arrival they had trouble even finding a pulse, her heart beat was so weak. Nevertheless, she seemed to recover quickly, and was soon her cheerful ebullient self. On one occasion, she visited my father in Iowa with Tom, and the one thing that stands out in my mind is her singular lack of any air of pretense. She met my cousins out on their farms in Iowa with the same cheerful interest and courtesy she would have showed any Nashville celebrities upon first meeting them. My children may have remarked at how long she took to put on her face in the morning; and I'm sure her appearance in Iowa that summer in bright red hot pants and nylons not only turned a few heads but kept tongues wagging for days afterwards. But, all things considered, she was a good and decent human being clearly raised to respect others and to value what is of lasting importance in life. She wanted children, though I'm not sure she could have had any. She wanted to get out of entertainment and to settle down to a 'normal' life, and hoped that Tom could get a decent 'ordinary' sort of job someday, perhaps in something like real estate; but that just wasn't in the cards.

After Tom and Wendy left Hickory and went back to Florida, we didn't hear too much from them until I received a tearful call from Tom in 1987 saying that Wendy had died. He was devastated. After that, he came to visit me once, and told me that he felt like his life was going down hill, as if he was slowly committing suicide and didn't know how to stop himself. It wasn't cocaine. As I learned later, he got out of that, and would walk away from cocaine if it were ever brought out. It wasn't alcohol. He didn't like to drink. It seemed to be just a lack of will. He called me maybe once after that, and my father maybe twice during the next eighteen years or so. Once he called my father to tell him that he had rededicated his life to Christ. He had done that several times in his life. He knew and understood the Gospel, no question about that. But he was carrying the weight of a world of hurt in his heart, and I'm not sure anyone can fathom all the reasons why. Abandonment as a child. Displacement. Questions of identity. Regrets. Spiritual struggles. Loss of Wendy in the springtime of her life. But whatever the reasons, the trauma ran deep.

Some of this we knew. Some of this we supposed. Some of this we only learned from those who knew Tom at the last when we went to Birmingham to see to his funeral and effects. We heard of Tom's death because two of his friends worked tirelessly, despite having very little information to go on, to find and contact his family. We will be forever grateful for the opportunity to know how and when his life ended, to participate in his memorial service near Birmingham, to meet the members of the community who loved him, and to bring closure to his story.

Tom did not leave much behind him in the way of effects. A few pictures, a wallet, some clothes, Wendy's Bible, a satchel of bookings and receipts from Wendy's world tour, a few clothes. In his last years, as we learned, he had taken odd jobs as a handyman, helping a brick mason, helping lay carpet, and so forth. At one time in his life, he was making a six figure income and owned several houses. At the end, he left this life with little more than he had when he entered it.

At the memorial service, many good folk who had shared their tables with Tom came forward to tell us how much Tom meant to them and their children. He was especially beloved of children. One youngster, named Trevor (pictured right, with Tom), from the family with whom Tom spent his last days, slipped me a note which said, "The body is gone, but the soul lives on!" and shook my hand, telling me earnestly how much Tom had meant to him. One sixteen year old girl came back early from a visit to Florida just to be at Tom's memorial service and meet his family.

During the memorial service itself, one friend of Tom's, a big burly guy named Eddie, sang a touching rendition of "Amazing Grace," accompanying himself with a guitar, and, chocked with emotion, couldn't get beyond the first verse. Another friend named Billy, also playing his guitar, played Hank Williams' "I Saw The Light," and also moved with emotion, did not get beyond the first verse. His mother, a dear lady who told us how much she loved Tom, read a religious poem she had written in honor of Tom. Other men and women got up, by turn, and spoke words about what Tom had meant to them. I spoke briefly about Tom's Japanese background, his adoption, and our childhood together in Japan. For all his difficulties, regrets, and human limitations, the one thing that most clearly emerges in my recollection of these testimonials about Tom is his utter lack of guile. This came out in different ways. A brick mason told me that Tom is the only person he has ever known who has never been in a fight. "He wouldn't know how to pick a fight if he tried," he said. Others said that Tom never spoke ill of anyone, or that he was one of the finest people they had ever known.

Tom wanted to be cremated and to have his ashes sprinkled over Wendy's grave. For me, the most emotional moment, next to getting my father's call, was identifying Tom's body and saying my goodbye before it was cremated. I asked the funeral director if I could have a few moments with him, and I anointed him with holy water I had brought with me and blessed him, invoking the name of the Holy Trinity. What could I do? A cremation takes about two hours. The resulting cremains are about the equivalent of a five pound bag of sugar. There were too many ashes to sprinkle over Wendy's grave. We settled on a compromise. Tom's wishes would be honored in part. But part of the ashes would be taken to my father, who could not attend the funeral; and part would be taken back to Japan, where Tom was born -- a fitting dispersal for someone of so multifaceted an identity.

Tom, rest in peace.

Of related interest:
  • Stories of Our Lives (of Eugene and Louella Gingerich Blosser) [written by Eugene Blosser based on Louella's diaries, edited by Amy Kari Blosser, and transcribed for posting by Christopher Blosser]
  • Grandpa Blosser & Family: Biographical Sketches [a photo journal of Eugene Blosser and his life compiled and posted by Christopher Blosser]
  • The Blossers [an index of the Blosser family compiled by Christopher Blosser linking his brothers and father to Eugene Blosser -- the link by which Tom's friends discovered his adoptive family after his death: they noted that Tom's birthname, 'Yoshiro,' is also the middle name of my son, Jonathan.]
Update - Christmas 2006

In early September, 2006, we took the major part of Tom's ashes to Iowa where my father had arranged an interment service. My sister, Rachel, flew out from Philadelphia, and my son, Jamie, drove up from Benedictine College outside of Kansas City where he teaches; so we had a good representation of our family present for the occasion. My father had secured a plot in the West Union Church Cemetery, north of Wellman, Iowa, for the interment. West Union was the childhood church of my mother, who died in 1983 and is also buried there. Over the Christmas holidays in 2006 we visited my father again in Iowa, with all four of my sons present, and took the picture of Tom's memorial stone.

You may leave a comment by clicking on the comments/ link below, or simply read the comments left by others.


Blogger Pertinacious Papist said...

I welcome any corrections, additional information, anecdotes, or memories about Tom that anyone may wish to provide.

7:01 AM  
Anonymous Kathy Richards Beckwith said...

Hi Phil, this is Kathy Richards Beckwith, another MK from Hokkaido who has many many treasured memories of the fun we had with the Blosser, Buckwalters, Shenks etc. It was a time in our lives when we had more "aunts and uncles" thyan we could count and we were all "family" . Thank you for sharing the memories of Tommy, and for the letting those of us from Tom's early years know that in his final years he had found another loving and caring family
in his friends.
Please extend my deepest sympathy to the rest of your family and especially to Uncle Gene. Tom will always be part of my cherished memories of growing up in Japan.

9:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Phil, thanks for sharing Tom's history with me. Basketball was never my sport, but in our gym at H.I.S., Tom repeatedly amazed me with his prowess with the ball. He was shorter than some other players, but his speed and skill were admirable.
Thoughts of Tom bring tender memories of our school years in the early 1960s. God bless you and your family. Mike Auw

6:37 PM  
Anonymous Phil Blosser said...

Wow, it's really great to hear from you, Kathy and Michael. What memories! Kathy, you're so right about all the "aunts and uncles"! I can remember falling asleep to Dvorak's "New World Symphony" which Aunt Emma put on for us when we stayed over once.

Michael, you're right about Tom's agility with the basketball. I can never forget the little things: his number was 23. Mine was 22. Remember the HIS school song? "Champion Huskies, on the warpath, glorious heroes all! When we fight for green and white, we're always on the ball, Rah, rah, rah!"

10:50 AM  
Blogger Wayne Lammers said...

Hi, Phil, this is really a wonderful, touching memorial you've written about Tom. I'm sure it must have meant a lot to you to put it together, but it meant a lot to me to read it as well, and I'm sure the same will be true for other long-ago friends who haven't known anything about Tom's direction after junior high or high school.

As I mentioned to Rachel earlier, the first thing I remembered when I heard the sad news was a picture I've seen every time I flip through an old childhood album, of when Tommy (as we all called him then) and Matthew Foster and I decided to form a band called the Vibrations one summer at camp in Nayoro. I never thought anything had come of it beyond camp, but now I learn that music did indeed become Tom's life.

And of course, like Mike Auw, I remembered Tom's proficiency on the basketball court--and in most every other sport we played.

Even though I haven't known anything about what he's been doing in 40 years, it really is a shock to learn of his death so young--when it's still our parents' generation that I think of as being at that age, not our own. My heartfelt sympathies to all of you.

On a slightly different note, I had completely forgotten that my brother Ken had spent a couple of years at the Blosser hostel until I saw him in the group photo you included. He tells me now that he in fact roomed with Tom his first year away from home, which must have been the year the photo was taken, probably 1966-67 if I've put things together correctly. Ken now lives with his family in Yokohama, where he runs Ken Production Service Inc., a business that imports theatrical lighting equipment to Japan.

11:39 AM  
Anonymous Phil Blosser said...

Tom lived his last twenty years in Alabama. I just thought of another Alabama connection that makes this the more poignant: my father, Eugene Blosser, departed from on his missionary voyage to Asia, where he would spend nearly the whole of his career life, from Mobile, Alabama. Scroll down to (or run a search for) "Mobile" on "Stories of Our Lives," Chapter 1.

12:32 PM  
Anonymous Dennis Howlett said...

Wayne Lammers passed on the message about Tommy's passing. I am so sorry to hear the news. Please pass on my condolences to your family.

But it was just great to read this blog about his life. I didn't know he went on to such musical accomplishments -- though I am not too surprised. My sons love bluegrass music and will be interested to learn of this connection. One of my sons is a folk and jazz musician and is trying to make a go of it in the music world. Tommy had a real gift -- not only with music but also with friendships. He was a great basketball player too as I recall.

I shared a room [at the hostel]with Tommy when I was in Grade 9. It was a great year. I remember there was an earthquake and Tommy had read somewhere a prediction that an island in Japan would disappear in an earthquake so he put his yellow rubber inflatible raft in his closet and said I could join him in the raft if Hokkaido should sink below the sea in the next earthquake. We also used the same raft to keep a pet turtle in for a while until it began to stink too much and your mother convinced us we should put the turtle outside in the back yard when it became warm enough. I have many great memories of cooking up a bowl of instant ramen as a bed time snack with Tommy after our homework was done, sorting the laundry or making lunches with the other kids, running around the house in our underwear in the freezing cold on a dare, Tommy and I trying to make a rocket with chemicals from the science lab, going out in the neighbourhood looking for parked cars at night where couples were making out and sneaking up behind the cars and giving them a shake up and down to startle them, and playing guitar together -- all the great folk songs from that era -- Peter Paul and Mary and Simon and Garfunkel and Bob Dylan.

I do remember then how much he loved music and how good he was at playing the guitar. He and I worked on an original song that was sung at the Hokkaido International School graduation at the end of the school year. I think I wrote the words and he and I worked together on the music. It was called "We are like a stream ... flowing on."

8:11 AM  
Anonymous Dawn Buckwalter said...

You did a most impressive job on your memorial of Tom. I have felt keenly the sadness and the loss to you and your family and to the rest of us who knew Tom earlier in our lives. My last memory of him is from my Hesston College days. I feel honored to have been present there at perhaps his earliest or one of his earliest performances in a band "cobbled together by college students," though it's a vague memory.

7:51 AM  
Anonymous David Kanagy said...

I remember Tom vaguely as one of the older MK's in Hokkaido. I went the same educational route of HIS and CAJ, but some 3 or 4 years behind, which put me in the younger group of MK's.

Perhaps our parents adopted Asian children out of Christian benevolence and belief in the equality of all beings as God's children, but I think we still fail to understand the deeper unseen roots of people and their cultures that make the transit between one and another culture life challenging experiences.

It seems like Tom's life is a testimony to his ability to adapt to the challenges in his life, with his acceptance of Christ being surely the most reassuring point to those who strove to give him a better life, though I would add that the virtues his neighbor saw in him were perhaps the jewels that he harvested from his life.
Thank you for sharing your and his life, Phil.

12:03 PM  
Anonymous Michael Buckwalter said...

I heard from Meiko about Tom, and then Dawn forwarded me the link to your memorial for him. I really appreciated reading it. I couldn't stop once I started. Although I can't even say I really knew Tom, he is there in my consciousness along with all the rest of you older and younger "cousins" in our Hokkaido missionary family. I do have some childhood memories of him. Like one time when we were visiting the hostel when I was small. I was in his room watching and listening to him play the guitar. I was in awe, because his playing was awesome!

Thank you so much for sharing him with us in this meaningful way, so that we could know something of his life and character

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

6:39 AM  
Anonymous Scott Hanson said...

Dear Mr. Blosser,

Last night I was unable to sleep and was watching late-night TV. On the RFD Channel there was an old program of Jim Ed Brown and his guest star was Wendy Holcombe. It instantly triggered a memory of her appearances on Hee Haw and other variety shows of the 1970's. I remember her as being a kid who could really play the banjo and who was always smiling and bouncing around the stage.

I thought it was odd that I hadn't heard or seen anything of her in so many years since she had tremendous potential. I Googled her on the internet and was sorry learn of her early passing. But the greatest heartache was reading the story of your brother. It was such a sad and touching account and I just wanted you to know that you have my deepest sympathy in your loss. It's a story that should be written into a book and something that a lot of people would find both touching and inspiring.

Thanks for posting the story and sharing it with the world. I've already mentioned it to a couple of friends today who also remembered Wendy and were saddened to know of her passing. I have forwarded them your web-page so they too could read about Tom and his odyssey. Please accept my condolences for you and your family.


Scott Hanson
Marion, IL

12:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing this about Tom -Wendy's father and I are first cousins, though I'm closer in age to Wendy, than to her father.
I met Tom a couple of times at family gatherings -
We never really knew Tom - but I do know that Wendy loved him dearly.
And she was a very charming and a very normal, down-to-earth person.
We were all baffled that she wouldn't pursue a heart transplant - what a great loss. I know her parents, siblings and grandfather still grieve her passing. We all miss her.
I believe she passed away on St. Valentine's Day. Another poignant story for another time, perhaps.
Thanks again for sharing - wish I had gotten to know Tom.

Anita Brueck
Naperville, IL

1:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just happened to be thinking of Tom today and thought I would do a google search, and received the sorry news.

I lived with Tom and several others in a farm house outside of Goshen, Indiana in the early 70s. I was also in, what we used to call a bar band with him, and we used to play the local nightspot, Elsie's, and other shadier joints in the area.

He was a great guy, and spoke often of his family and his adoption. He had a special affection for Ramen, which, he sold me on; cheap, good, and filling.

The last time I spoke to him was over twenty years ago. He called in the early morning and was in Nashville. I'd guess around the time he was playing with Wendy. He seemed to be his embullient self.

I don't believe I ever heard a harsh word spoken in the time I was around him. Always up and never down; though nobody liked their jobs in the Rubber Factory.

Even though we did not keep in touch I feel a loss, and will always remember him as a gentle soul sitting on the worn couch on the farm's front porch with guitar in hand asking me, "Do you know this?"
And then he'd play.

D.L. Wiebe

4:52 PM  
Anonymous Evan Richards said...

I was both saddened and encouraged when reading about Tom. It brought back many good memories of our youth in Japan. When my two children were small they would always ask me to tell the "bus pass story." You and Tom were both major players in that story, where the two of us walked home from ASIJ (American School in Japan, in Tokyo) because I had forgotten my bus pass. You were the 3rd grade elder on that expedition. Tom had gone home to get our dads. We of course couldn't wait patiently at the bus stop in Shibuya, and so we went up to the amusement rides on one of the department stores. We never did see our dads, surprise. The subsequent walk has gotten longer with each telling ... still makes for a good story.

12:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for an excellent recounting of Tom's life. I grew up in Hesston and we often had college kids in our home. Tom was one of those kids that I remember well. My most vivid memory of him was of him making a Japanese dinner for our family. I was captivated and have enjoyed cooking (and eating) such great things ever since. Tom helped open my eyes to some of the great wonders of the world.

Of course, he was never without his guitar and he spent time playing as well. He even got me to play a rhythm on the drums (which I DON'T play!) to accompiany him!

8:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry, forgot to leave my name with the above comment:

Jay Hochstetler

8:59 AM  
Anonymous Lucile Hochstetler said...

Thank you Phil for the great tribute to Tom whom we loved very much. We remember also you & Dan cooking wonderful Japanese cuisine in our home. One day, during wheat harvest Tom came off the road to struggle through some deep personal & emotional concerns. We felt honored & were glad that the Buckwalter family was in Hesston then to help us give Tom the support he was seeking. He spent weeks with us & tried to become a Bull rider! We had lots of fun times & fond memories of that summer. when I find photos I will try to send them to you or your Father. Again, thank you & God's Blessings
Lucile Hochstetler

10:24 AM  
Anonymous Luke Birky said...

Thank you for this moving tribute to your brother. No, I did not know either of you but roomed with your father in the dorm at Goshen College in 1946----a great friend. But though we parted I always followed the news of their coming and going. Please know we care about your loss. Luke

6:08 PM  
Blogger Anne Ediger said...

Phil--I was surprised to learn of Tommy's death at the reunion of our CAJ Class of '71 that just took place this past week (Aug 4-6, 2006) in Toronto. So I was immensely pleased to be able to find and read about his life in your blog. Thank you so much for posting this tribute to Tommy. I remember many fond times when our families got together in Tokyo and other places. You all were indeed our "cousins" when we were growing up. I also remember meeting Tommy at Hesston College when I was at Bethel in the next town. I had wondered over the years what had happened to him, and am truly sorry that we didn't get to see or interact with him during all of these years. I will continue to remember him fondly--Anne.

2:15 PM  
Anonymous Philip Blosser said...

I just received word from Ken Nielsen that the CAJ (Christian Academy in Japan) Class of 1971) blog has posted a brief note on Tom's passing. The class blog can be visited at: Evidently they had a class reunion not long ago and learned of Tom's death and of the memorial posted at this site through Dave Lautz, if I am not mistaken. In any case, it's heart warming to see everyone's kind words and fond recollections.

5:32 PM  
Anonymous Vern Wooden said...


Although I hadn't seen Tom since high school, it tore me up to hear of his passing. He was one guy that I could really identify with while we were at CAJ together, however briefly. I still remember how the two of you used to indulge me by playing my requests when I'd come barging in on your practice sessions in the dormitory music room. Even then, Tommy was an amazing guitarist. He was also so much fun to hang out with, as were you, upperclassman though you were. Thanx for shedding more light on who he was and what he meant to people. I'm only one of many who really appreciated the privilege of knwoing him (and you). "That's what Mrs. Reardon said, and she should know--she lived upstairs from him>"

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I just spent the day at Wendy's father's place in Alabaster and didn't know she was married. But I'm very touched by the story here and I'm sorry for your loss.

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I happened to catch a rerun of Nashville on television and was poking around on the internet to find out more about the show....found your site....what a sad story of loneliness for your brother.....We should all be as loved as he loved her.

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I read with much gratitude and sadness your account of Tom and Wendy. The sadness is from their lives being taken at such tragically young ages and for unexpected health reasons. My gratitude results from seeing Wendy (Tom?) in concert in the early 80s in a high school in Manassas, Virginia. My memories of Wendy on that night were of an incredibly talented dynamo and until a couple of years ago I wondered why she hadn't made it big. To this day I try to learn about Wendy and now Tom and it is with hopes that eventually a CD and/or DVD will become available to all who knew and enjoyed the music they made together. In the meantime I will continue to learn as much about this talented and loving couple as I can. May they rest in peace. Thank you so much Philip!

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I just wanted you to know that I met Wendy in 1980 or 81. I don't know if Tom was with her then or not but it was at a carnival in Smithsburg, MD. She was fascinated with the fact that we are so near Camp David. I was about 15 and very awkward but she made me feel at ease. In fact she kissed me on the cheek and boy did my face turn red. I was not only impressed by her awesome talent but also that she was so supportive of the Fire Department's fund raising efforts that she insisted on being allowed to get into the "dunking booth" (where baseballs are thrown at a target that, when struck, releases the seat on which a subject is seated and drops the subject into a large tank of water) at the carnival. She said she wanted to do it on one condition, that we charge one dollar a ball. We made about $250.00 in 20 or 30 minutes. She was so down to earth and so friendly. I hated to hear of her passing and now I'm saddened to hear of your loss. Your brother, Tom was obviously a very special person.

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Anonymous Cindy said...

[Note: The following comment was routed here via Christopher's haloscan, where it was originally received.] I read your blog and was very touched by what you said and the memories you had with Wendy and Tom. I am Wendy's sister Cindy and still live in the area I grew up. Not a day goes by that I do not think about her and miss her. I am glad you have fond memories to hold on to it really helps with the loss. I am sorry for the loss of your Uncle Tom too.

Cindy Holcombe

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Philip, I am Wendy's sister Cindy Holcombe. I found the memoriam to Tom and read your eloquent words about Tom and Wendy. I was very touched and moved after reading all the beautiful words you wrote about both Tom and Wendy. I am very sorry for your loss and understand how it feels. I wanted to write you and let you know how very much I appreciate the kind words and memories you shared of my sister.

Thank you and God Bless

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I am a 34 years old female, from NC, and I remember the first time I ever remember hearing a banjo. It was Wendy Holcomb on the Porter Wagoner show & I was drawn in. She had a great personality that illuminated her already brilliant banjo playing. I always wondered what happened to her until now.

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I am sad to hear of Tom's passing. I was a friend late in their lives and was sad when Wendy passed and just as sad now to read this. They were both special people in my life while in Birmingham.

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Blogger Cindy said...

I am having a hard time sleeping have my sister Wendy on my mind. I really regret that I was not closer with Tom. I do get comfort coming to the site and reading all the kind comments. Even after all these years the loss dodent seem to get easier. So much has changed and I think Wendy and Tom would be proud. All the nephews I have read about that remembered going to cchucky cheese, Thank God for memories. I can be reached at cindyholcombe@gmail if anyone ever wants to talk about my sister Wendy or Tom. Thank you

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I remember watching Wendy play her banjo,she was very happy all the time,it was very sad to hear of her passing at such a young age. It was also sad hearing of Toms passing.

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Hello Philip, I come to this site and read all the kind comments about my sister and your brother. One comment said they did not understand why Wendy did not pursue a heart transplant. Wendy was on the donors list for a new heart.We did not find out until the autopsey that it would not have worked. She had severe mono when she was 12 and it did very abd damage to the muscles around her heart. That was not found until her death. I am touched at all the lovely comments and fills my heart with joy to know she is remembered and missed just as Tom is. I think about them often and how lucky you and I are to have all the memories of two very special, very talented and very unusual and fun people. Thanks, Cindy

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